Register today for Judd Apatow’s wacky, wild …and, in the end, a little bit sentimental Fundurance Run®

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You’ve crawled under live barbed wire, climbed over giant wooden obstacles and waded through rivers of other people’s pee only to come out on the other side to adjust your headband crooked and rub mud on your face for the post-finish photos at the Tough Mudder.

You’ve pushed yourself to the limit staying up all night with strangers in a sweaty van someone got from Enterprise smelling like ski socks and re-heated Panda Express waiting for your turn to run like three miles in a Ragnar Relay.

You’ve thrown your back out in the name of doing one more burpee than the stay-at-home day-trading dad next to you at your “box’s” Cross-fit super regionals.

You’ve gotten touched up with chalk like the concrete in front of a first-grade classroom in The Color Run, hit it hard like Gerard in a Spartan Race and even jammed with some incredibly awkward-and-hungover local band cranking out I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing all dehydrated and done on mile 19 of a Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon.

But something has always been missing, and that something is an endurance race that borrows from the zeitgeist that draws from real life for a very small percentage of people who are actually archetypes.

Introducing Judd Apatow’s Fundurance Run® “You won’t know now …till you Apatow!™”

Revel in the kind of problems people like you would love to have: an unexpected-but-healthy-and-supported pregnancy; a kitchen that’s so big you can barely fill it with things like five-dollar cupcakes and farmers’ market fruits and vegetables; careers in the entertainment business that are hitting slight hiccups; having to make belt-tightening financial decisions like selling an original drawing by one of the most famous musicians of his — or any — era and staving off the advances of an irresistible ingenue assistant while your still-hot wife stands by and understands.>

Meet quirky, funny people whose zany solutions to your in-race conundrums just. Might. Work.

…All brought to you Judd Apatow, the hottest name in Hollywood and the newest brand in experiential events. The writer, director and producer of contemporary film and TV hits like Funny People, Get Him to the Greek, HBO’s Girls, This is 40, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan and Tom Arnold: The Naked Truth 2, recently got in the game of real-time racing to challenge his athletic prowess AND test his comedic chops beyond all known limits with his own Fundurance Run®.

Apatow has drawn from his personal exploits to break from the everyday malaise of being comedy’s current kingmaker to fabricate a live race mirroring his own career trajectory: From slumming it as a struggling USC undergrad in humble pre-hipster Hollywood, to becoming a mega-rich-and-powerful guest editor of Vanity Fair’s comedy issue from his lofty Brentwood perch, to finding his place of peace and respite in a 4,700-square-foot beachfront cottage in Malibu next to Rob Lowe and family, Apatow Fundurance Run® organizers have incorporated all his can’t-miss tropes into a single grueling 36-hour challenge of a lifetime.

The 48-mile Los Angeles Fundurance Run® course is broken up into a dozen sections that reflect movement into the first peak moments of midlife crisis where you’re dealing with raising children in their formative years and being caretaker to parents who are aging …all the while balancing real-life career relevance issues with the inevitable breakdown of metabolism and sex drive as you seek out the finish-line beach bonfire party with racing partners, guest celebrities, frenemies and attorneys who helped you reach your ultimate endurance goal.

While we can’t give away all the Fundurance Run®’s secrets and surprises, you’re sure to enjoy these purportedly-emotionally-challenging-yet-overall-shrill-and-hollow obstacles which may refract an aspirational truth in tone but fall far short of reflecting real life in any meaningful way:

• The life-changing-but-madcap doctor visit. Is it cancer? Is it a baby (noooot again!) or is it something in between, like an STD if you’re young and pot-smoking and banging the hottest chick ever even if you’re kind of a lumpy slob with no job? WHO KNOWS. All we do know is the Apatow doctor visit stop is surely going to surprise, maybe enrage, but always enlighten. Because hey, we all have great health insurance and go to the doctor when something’s wrong. Besides, what’s more fun than a visit to the wacky doctor (he is a doctor, right?) Nothing. That’s what. And while you may not agree with the diagnosis from the crazy man with the visible physical abnormality he’ll let you make fun of, you won’t want to get a second opinion, because in the end — you’ll be constantly paging Dr. Funnybone and his MD in hijinks and hilarity!

• The out-of-control-in-control road trip. Thought you’ll be wrapping up this race in plenty of time to grab a bite after at the Cheesecake Factory and grab some zzzs on the couch before work Monday? Think again! It’s out-of-control-in-control road trip time. Racers will be spirited away to a five-star destination in one of the more popular but close-in-proximity destinations for Hollywood elite. Be it Laguna Beach or Las Vegas, you’ll be treated to top-notch service and accommodations and also have access to a safe dose of hallucinogenic and psychotropic substances which will make the hotel staff cringe, enlighten your teammates on how you really feel creating a drug-induced bond that lasts the entire Fundurance Run®, and, most importantly, you’ll discover within YOU why the Fundurance Run® is important. Once you’ve had that epiphany – it’s back to the course!

• The unresolved misunderstanding with a minor character. The race is less than two days long and it’s not real life, silly. At some point there will be some interaction with a minor character that perhaps appears to have some significance or meaning to the point of the Fundurance Run® as a whole, but instead that thread just kind of disappears. Whether it’s edited out of the Fundurance Run® or it’s a statement on how people just kind of come, do something funny or quirky, and then go …we may never know. All we do know is, life is unpredictable that way.

The really-bad-but-not-really-bad-at-all financial crisis. We get it, you do these kind of races to ESCAPE the day-to-day worry about what amounts are in your accounts. Well, fear not, this won’t change anything. At least one stop you’ll be met with a fake financial crisis. No, it’s nothing on the scale of saying a prayer that the gas pump accepts your debit card as credit so you can overdraft a half tank to get to work, it’s more along the lines of having to make swift financial decisions to save the business you “sunk everything into” (everything with the exception of your trust fund, your vacation home in Aspen, your 401k, your child’s college savings, your stocks, bonds and mutual funds …and any money you have offshore …plus, whatever-it-is your wife managed to squirrel away in her plastic surgery account) by moving the business into a slightly smaller-and-less-cool-looking loft space. Choose wisely, because finding an even more faux-industrial-looking spot outside of an already-there neighborhood like Silver Lake may actually HELP save the business.

• Being a woman. Often referred to as the most treacherous stop on an Apatow Fundurance Run®, being a woman is NO picnic. You’ll be used as a blonde piece of arm candy that can only act one of two ways: bitchy and hormonal. Actually three ways: Bitchy, hormonal and bitchy and hormonal. You must look hot at all times even if you have to fake it, because acting bitchy and hormonal means you actually become bitchy and hormonal, not hot. Fortunately, there isn’t much depth to this stop — also known as the Girls portion of the New York Fundurance Run® course — as it is an underdeveloped snippet of the race as a whole.

• Real-time celeb run-ins. If being a woman in an Apatow Fundurance Run® is the nadir, then getting to rub elbows with some of your favorite actors, comedians and musicians will surely be a high point. Some of your favorites, from Billy Joe from Green Day to funny man Danny McBride, to out-of-left-field has-beens like Young MC and Dick Van Patten (still alive!) will randomly greet you along the course, giving you and your Apatow Fundurance Run® racing team a quick boost of unexpected energy, and fun!

…and finally:

• Jason Segel. Let’s face it, there’ll be a point in the Fundurance Run® where you’re tired, cramping, hungry …and simply just sick of wondering why some of the major characters on your team at the beginning of the Fundurance Run® are no longer with you. Will they return toward the end? Will they show up in a future Fundurance Run®? Or have they been written off altogether? No matter, because, hey there’s Jason Segel. Segel is a long-time member of the Apatow family and has graciously donated his time to inspire at some point during the Fundurance Run® — as Jason Segel. Get to know the real Jason as he pontificates on everything from his sneakers to his going-out flip flops. Learn the wisdom of Segel as he stares into you with those baby blues and does an impression of some obsolete celebrity as big as he is. Feel the Zen of Segel as he embraces you in a warm bro hug and lopes around before disappearing to go bang some chick that is so hot in real life you couldn’t even handle knowing who it is. The Segel will almost make you forget about all the egregious references to Judaism that have nothing to do with the Fundurance Run® you’ve suffered through along the way.

So what are you waiting for? Registration for the 2014 Summer LA Apatow Fundurance Run® is almost full and the Five Boroughs Apatow Fundurance Run® already has a waiting list for 2015. But it’s never too early to start training and take the first step towards the only race that shows you how life could have been had you’d actually done something about it.

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