Sunday, April 22, 2018

Welcome to an evening of campus-sponsored fascism at Cal Poly

Cal Poly is hosting a narcissistic, demagogue hate-speech monger in Axe hair gel, and the university’s president is acting like there’s nothing he can do about it saying he’s “defending free speech.” No. No, he is not. He is sponsoring intolerance and spreading propaganda. #ResignArmstrong By Andrew J. Pridgen Satan’s sophomoric personal dubstep DJ MILO is set to speak at Cal...

I’m scared to be an American

...and I'm not the only one. By Andrew J. Pridgen I read last week that the first newspaper I worked for, the Contra Costa Times, is folding. This came as no surprise to me. My first beat was reporting for a handful of weeklies under that paper’s umbrella in the late-1990s with a bunch of other aspirational Woodwards and Bernsteins, or...

Phil Mickelson Poo Poos the Peasantry of San Diego

Phil Mickelson emerged from his La Jolla estate to stretch his man tits and admonish America’s Finest Plebeians for failing to properly cowtow. Written by Kyle Magin Hark! Lord Lefty Mickelson deigned to speak to the San Diego Union Tribune Thursday about the stupidity of his fellow San Diegans in letting the San Diego Chargers fly the coop for L.A. With...

Dear Fight Fans, Up Yours! Love, Floyd

A letter from Floyd Mayweather as dictated to Kyle Magin Dear Fight Fans, Go fuck yourselves! Have you heard yet? I’m going out of the fight game against Andre Berto on Sept. 12. You’re gonna show up and pay to watch me run my record up to 49-0 against a clown who’s 3-3 in his last six fights and last fought...

#antigunmemes

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent this week V-8 slapping yourself in the face as the biggest collective of asshats from your high school/former job/whoever the fuck that is and how do I even know anyone from South Carolina(?) who have somehow taken over your feed posting about the Constitution and prayer and mental illness and guns and...

Why does the America’s Cup fucking suck so bad?

What's up America's Cup? By Andrew Pridgen That's an actual question, not the rhetorical kind. It's like what the fuck is up with you? For starters, and I'm not even gonna mess around, like could you take the word America off your title? I checked with Obama and he's like "unless they can come up with a more American sport than sailing...

The five pillars of white privilege enjoyed by author Mitch Albom

This fucking guy...I might have to become the first person ever to burn Tuesdays with Morrie. By Andrew J. Pridgen Mitch Albom, author of children’s books for adults and surreptitious Trump supporter, is a fuckhead. Sorry, I know that sentence was terse and not very nice, but it is in words he’d understand. Albom quizzically weighed in on the growing number of New...

How the Nike have fallen

From the swoosh’s apex with Michael Johnson at the Atlanta games to being a mere footnote at the Rio Olympics, how Nike’s being a part of the status quo has failed to compel the next generation of consumer. By Andrew J. Pridgen During the mid-’90s I thought I had found a home at the University of Oregon’s Journalism School. It...

An all-SEC final featuring an appearance by Trump, a fitting end to the relevance of college football.

Mercifully, college football can now be ignored in my timezone. By Andrew J. Pridgen I doubt many around the land will tune in to Monday’s CFP national championship game—the emerging news that America’s wilting and confused commander-in-chief will be there is even more reason to skip the non-event. The teams in question are Georgia and Alabama, squads from the same college...

Squaw kicks off summer by announcing a partnership with the worst thing man has ever created: A ‘ski’ resort in China

Andy Wirth has a fever ...and the only cure is press releases about more bad decisions. By Andrew J. Pridgen In the annual Homer head-slapping summer kick-off, Squaw Valley announced last week that it will partner with, ready? A ski resort in China. ...Which is kind of the same thing as saying you think those red Trump hats are "kinda cool," or...