Thursday, June 21, 2018

Saying Goodbye to Golfer Guy

Not only are Golfer Guy’s actions and attitude horrible for the environment but the asshole culture that has evolved as his numbers continue to dwindle is vexing. By Andrew Pridgen For a time, my father was a Golfer Guy but never really knew it. Most Golfer Guys don’t. The tidewaters turned up a number of things in the immediate recession that was...

The Fading Light of American Optimism

For almost two-and-a-half centuries we have been the country of can-do. Get knocked down? Get right back up and fight. Now our greatest battle is against one of our own. By Andrew J. Pridgen The thing that has struck me most about this new administration and this almost two-week waking nightmare we are currently in the midst of is whatever happened...

These college football coaches bathe in smarm

College Football’s moral high ground stands roughly 7 circles deep, which is apparently still tall enough to preach from. Written By Kyle Magin The college football recruiting game is a well-acknowledged cesspool. Hordes of assistants chasing a seven-figure head coaching contract head into some of America’s poorest neighborhoods to recruit its best athletes to beat the living shit out of one...

Why all California representatives should boycott the inauguration…and get to work

The U.S. and the rest of the world is looking to the Golden State to stand up to power. That starts Friday Jan. 20. By Andrew J. Pridgen The 2016 presidential election was not a legitimate one. The eventual winner ran on claims that it was rigged against him for the final two months of his campaign. He knew then, as...

When all you have is cruelty

There is only one word to describe the mandate of the incoming administration: "cruel." By Andrew J. Pridgen Donald J. Trump is a cruel human being. He is a cruel husband. He is a cruel father. He is a cruel businessman. And I’m sure were he to have ever opened his cruel heart long enough to have one, he would be...

Kobe’s swan song included 28 missed shots, a third-person reference and an actual mic drop—all harrowing reminders of the ISO-era N.B.A. Dark Ages

…Oh, and Adam Levine was there too. By Andrew J. Pridgen Before taking center court at Staples postgame Wednesday and treating #Lakernation to a third-person nickname reference and a (literal) mic drop, Kobe Bryant turned in a final performance that can most aptly be described as subpar for the ages. In the context of his final three seasons, the finale was actually...

The tax cut that would have destroyed my family

Millions will suffer. Millions more will die. By Andrew J. Pridgen A couple months back, while the Republican-controlled Senate was debating repealing the Affordable Care Act and replacing it with, I dunno, already chewed gum and old man hands to grope you with, I wrote this column about what the ACA meant to my family, in particular, my three-year-old son: https://deathofthepressbox.com/2017/09/21/it-can-happen-to-you/ If you...

Oakland relieved of the Raiders

The NFL Monday OK’d the Raiders’ move to Vegas. The team will now morph into a 57-year-old divorcee who moves to Clark County to spend his 401k on Eastern Bloc hookers, slots and a burgeoning meth addiction ...only to be found dead a few months later in the jet tub of his Henderson town home. By Andrew J. Pridgen Let...

A thank you to Trump voters as we arrive on the precipice of oblivion

No, really. THANK YOU. By Andrew J. Pridgen Dear Trump Voter, Thank you all you racists, misogynists, robber barons, opioid addicts, quasi-literates, out-of-the-closet white supremacists, feckless corporate shills, unsympathetic wretches who hide behind the veneer of Christianity, back-burner Boomers, Caucasian males who pretend to work and golf instead, college-educated mavens who try to model their lives after McMansion plantation owner Sandra...

Коррупция буйствовать

Translation: Corruption run amok By Andrew J. Pridgen Here we are on the precipice of the biggest scandal in Washington DC, um, ever and representative Jason Chaffetz (@jasoninthehouse ← yes that’s his real twitter handle, not some 24-year-old who’s a PA on Pardon the Interruption. What, was ‘jasonindahouse’ taken bro?) who is Utah’s 3rd congressional district representative and the chairman of...