Sunday, May 27, 2018

Oregonian beat writer is wrong: The Ducks are worthy

The Oregonian’s resident Duck expert Kevin Goe characterizes U of O’s football season as a disappointment with blood on the hands of its porous defense and an offense that uses lots of smoke and mirrors to hide its deficiencies. Statistics reveal a different story about how Oregon closed out its 2015 campaign. By Andrew Pridgen Nine wins a failure? Six straight...

Helfrich in a handbasket

Like battering Oregon head coach Mark Helfrich on the message boards? Don’t get used to it. Big program frontmen don’t get much margin for error.  By Andrew Pridgen There’s a common misperception among the civilian ranks that football’s head coaches, especially on a collegiate level, have to be one part field general, one part molder of men and one part...

When you’re losing, new uniforms every week make you look the guy who just got dumped and is determined to get a new girlfriend like the first night he...

...And Washington State is just the beginning of this dry spell. By Andrew J. Pridgen Oregon Ducks football, the 2016 version is really, really, really, really fucking bad. Really bad. Mark Helfrich trolling the sidelines now perma-looks as if he went out to get one thing, like milk, from the store and runs into a buddy in the parking lot and they...

Oregon to interview Atreyu and Falkor to replace Helfrich and Pellum

Hoping to exorcise the un-magic that happened in the second half of the Alamo Bowl, Oregon’s head coach and defensive coordinator search starts with a pair of trusted names. ...But it's not who you think. By Andrew Pridgen This offseason, the Oregon Ducks should not waste any time firing head coach Mark Helfrich and defensive coordinator Don Pellum and his pimp...

USFS officials are clearly ignoring the fact that they stumbled upon a mass murder scene at Lake Shasta

The 2016 Slaughterhouse Island massacre is second only to obscene data overages caused by Snapchat as a parent’s worst nightmare. By Andrew J. Pridgen The internets grew a new tail Tuesday from posted pictures of a University of Oregon outdoor school field trip turned deadly orgy of careless bottled water discarding on a spit of land called—ready—fucking Slaughterhouse Island at...

How it feels to be a Duck

It is the morning after Oregon’s worst home loss since the beginning of the Carter administration...and I couldn’t be more nostalgic or more proud. By Andrew Pridgen I first came to know the University of Oregon in the fall of 1993. I was a freshman in Eugene and those first 90 days between drop-off and Thanksgiving were as eventful and...

To rebuild, Oregon (football) needs to get weird again

Nike, once a counter culture brand, and Oregon, once a counterculture school, need to go back to their roots in radicalism to be relevant again. By Andrew J. Pridgen Over the past two decades I’ve marveled at how the culture of Oregon football has morphed to become the opposite of Eugene and the namesake state. The University of Oregon, in...

Pints and Picks Week 6: Betting PAC-12, Mountain West, MLB Playoffs and searching the skies above and the beers below for answers

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and (sometimes) what to drink while doing it. This week: #ican'tbelievehereallysaidgrabthembythep*ssy By Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen Hey Kyle, Well, it took 11 innings Tuesday night, but I finally caught it… no, it’s not just MLB Playoff...

Hey Oregon football, never f*cking tell me what to wear again

#wearyourflannel By Andrew J. Pridgen Those who know me know one thing: I am sartorially challenged. To take down a wholesale inventory of my wardrobe is to read a normal person’s packing list for a three-day work trip: Two pair(s) of jeans, one for work, one for Friday/Saturday go-out (no, they don’t have white stitches.) Two business casual work shirts with various...

Oregon hired its first black football coach. Why that’s important and why it shouldn’t be.

Willie Taggart, 40, is the first coach Oregon has hired from outside the program since 1976. The Ducks’ previous three coaches, Mike Bellotti, Chip Kelly and Mark Helfrich, were assistants who were promoted. His goal: Graduate students and be the first black coach to win a national championship. By Andrew J. Pridgen On July 12, 1991, I saw John Singleton’s...