Monday, April 23, 2018

The things we learn from the people who are gone

On May 29, 2011 in the Wardak province of Afghanistan, CPT Joseph W. Schultz’s humvee led a convoy in the central eastern part of the country. A roadside bomb detonated when his vehicle was in range and Joe, along with Staff Sergeant Martin Apolinar and Sergeant Aaron Blasjo, died instantly. By Andrew J. Pridgen Joe Schultz left this earth not by...

Dear Twitter, for the safety of this union, please take Donald Trump’s favorite toy away

Twitter is most dangerous play thing for the most dangerous child ever to be elected to his nation’s highest office. By Andrew J. Pridgen Twitter was a clever little idea that may go down in history as the communications tool that destroyed a country, if not the world. The shorthand social networking service was founded in March 2006 by a quartet of...

Trump is pissed off that #GoldenShowers is a thing. But now we know the truth, that he’d much rather be pissed on

The president-elect becomes the living embodiment of the last few drips after you zip up. By Andrew J. Pridgen Not so many years ago, I defended the scandalized Tiger Woods’ right to have his personal matters kept private. Woods, before injuries and mental deterioration took him out of golf’s conversation, was his generation’s greatest athlete and ambassador. A stormy night in...

The worst day of my life was spent wine tasting

The life and near-death experience of a day spent among the vines By Andrew Pridgen It sounded like such a good idea. It’s someone’s odd-numbered-year birthday. There’ll be a limo-van thingy. Girls in unnecessary boots. Guys in unnecessary scarves. We’ll order lunch off a chalkboard that’s made in a truck. Day drinking! A group photo-op on the lawn while blurry bocce...

Why I Will Miss Anton Yelchin Like Crazy

Another good-bye, but this time a premature one By Andrew J. Pridgen I encountered Anton Yelchin at a q&a after the press and industry screening of a movie he starred in called “Like Crazy” at Sundance 2011. A beanie’d kid with fair skin and light eyes was sitting next to me in the dark theater and when the lights went up he...

Opening the present that is Opening Day

Happy Baseball! Because no other sport drops off memory and hope at your doorstep like a new phone book bound for the recycling each spring. By Andrew J. Pridgen The world needs another syrupy 817-word warble about the importance of baseball, the we-need-it-now-more-than-ever significance of it like it needs a fourth Hangover installment. So I’ll try to be brief: The world needs...

Why I’m looking into getting cryogenically frozen as a safe alternative to living on this planet for the next four years

Also, I hope there’s something to come back to when I wake up. By Andrew J. Pridgen Nobody has any idea what just happened. Usually when we see things for the first time, some barrier-breaking moment live that remains indelible in our psyche and a part of the conversation forever after, it is something positive: Michael Jordan’s dunk from the free...

To Paul on your 40th

Every year for his birthday, I write a note to my buddy Paul K. Sloan. Paul died on the 89th floor of the South Tower, World Trade Center on 9/11/01. Usually it’s a pair of letters. The first (uncensored) is hand-written and put in the box. And the second has the good parts taken out and made suitable for...

#antigunmemes

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent this week V-8 slapping yourself in the face as the biggest collective of asshats from your high school/former job/whoever the fuck that is and how do I even know anyone from South Carolina(?) who have somehow taken over your feed posting about the Constitution and prayer and mental illness and guns and...

Your hateful, misinformed memes have TOTALLY changed my mind

Holy shit. What have I been thinking? By Andrew J. Pridgen There I was, going along, trying to do right by my family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. Trying to make sense of what this country is going to look like in a decade not only in the context of where we are now in the complex age of globalization and ever-shrinking...