Friday, November 24, 2017

Death of the Press Box’s 16 biggest posts of 2016

It was the worst of times and then times got fucking worse. By Andrew J. Pridgen and Kyle Magin In hindsight we might think about how cute and quaint our complaints of this year really were with no world wars, no internment camps, no jailings of dissenters and not having to say sentences like, “I can’t believe they bombed my Starbucks...

The Earth is thawing out the next five unstoppable human-destroying plagues at this very moment and all people can talk about is effing Donald Trump, Ryan Lochte and Colin...

...We are all guilty I suppose. By Andrew J. Pridgen We peeps do a really good job of really fucking up priorities on a regular basis. Owe three months rent? I’ll just put that jacket on the card….and maybe some T-bell. Hello Crunchy Cheesy Core Burrito™. Building’s burning down? Where the fuck is my phone? (Have you seen my fucking phone?) Can we sit...

Donald Trump is Thanking Great Lakes Voters by Destroying Their Water

Republican presidential candidates hadn’t won Wisconsin or Michigan since 1984 and 1988, respectively, before Donald Trump swept through the Great Lakes states in 2016. Now he’s paying them back by fucking up their water. Written by Kyle Magin The Great Lakes hold a fifth of the world’s fresh water. There is nothing like them in the world. Nowhere does this much...

God help us…if we still deserve it

Today is the day a chosen few will voluntarily move to appoint a despot the leader of the free world. How we got here and what to do now. By Andrew J. Pridgen I find this past month that I vacillate between "Well, who knows what will happen, just have to keep moving." And "Oh shit, time to move into...

Why House Democrats’ ultimate troll would be to vote in Trumpcare

If it didn’t mean the certain deaths of millions of Americans, this bill would be the perfect piece of rope for the Trump Administration and the GOP to hang itself by for election cycles to come. By Andrew J. Pridgen The GOP, front-row hecklers for the last eight years, have had seven trips around the sun to come up with...

#antigunmemes

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent this week V-8 slapping yourself in the face as the biggest collective of asshats from your high school/former job/whoever the fuck that is and how do I even know anyone from South Carolina(?) who have somehow taken over your feed posting about the Constitution and prayer and mental illness and guns and...

The only two responses to Trump’s tweets you will ever need

Simple feedback for a simpleton. By Andrew J. Pridgen Donald J. Trump is America’s internet troll-elect and he deploys his twitter account at all hours as his chief means of scapegoating, distraction and way to make every 5th grade teacher simultaneously slap their foreheads: ”How am I supposed to convince the kids to diagram sentences when this merkin-wearing ass hat is...

What OKC fans were really saying when they chanted ‘Cupcake’ at Kevin Durant

Dog whistle racism was heard loud and clear far beyond the confines of Chesapeake Energy Arena Saturday night. By Andrew J. Pridgen I wasn’t the only one offended watching Saturday night’s NBA marquee match-up as the Golden State Warriors visited enemy territory in Oklahoma City. My phone buzzed to low battery life with texts that read “Are you watching this?”, “What’s...

Wow …look who’s finally woke to Trump ties to Russia

(Hint: It’s the medias) ...But guess who’s not? That’s right the GO to the P. By Andrew J. Pridgen Less than thirty days after we for whatever-the-fuck-reason installed a molding piece of citrus you just found in the back of the crisper while cleaning out the fridge whose human form is a merkin-wigged former reality TV star and unconfirmed billionaire Chinese...

Dictating to the media

Trump’s disdain for the American media is not because they lack veracity. It's because any demagogue would be threatened by a free press's ability to find and deploy the truth. By Andrew J. Pridgen One of the first things a president-elect does is familiarize himself with the White House Press Corps. The corps is a rotating group of journalists stationed at...