Monday, April 23, 2018

Your hateful, misinformed memes have TOTALLY changed my mind

Holy shit. What have I been thinking? By Andrew J. Pridgen There I was, going along, trying to do right by my family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. Trying to make sense of what this country is going to look like in a decade not only in the context of where we are now in the complex age of globalization and ever-shrinking...

A bad Winter Games for the U.S. a barometer of where we are as a nation

We were shitty in Pyeongchang because we’ve allowed ourselves to become a shitty country. Unless there are big political and cultural changes afoot, don’t expect the news to get better in the years to come. By Andrew J. Pridgen The good news is a world-record amount of fucking went on in Pyeongchang South Korea over the last two weeks, 110,000...

How do we get back up?

Democracy is on the mat. But we need to stand up, if not together than for one another. By Andrew J. Pridgen Like the majority of Americans, today I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. And I did not drink a drop last night. I have not felt this bad since the morning of 9/12/01. And I do not...

The Earth is thawing out the next five unstoppable human-destroying plagues at this very moment and all people can talk about is effing Donald Trump, Ryan Lochte and Colin...

...We are all guilty I suppose. By Andrew J. Pridgen We peeps do a really good job of really fucking up priorities on a regular basis. Owe three months rent? I’ll just put that jacket on the card….and maybe some T-bell. Hello Crunchy Cheesy Core Burrito™. Building’s burning down? Where the fuck is my phone? (Have you seen my fucking phone?) Can we sit...

Donald Trump’s complete inaugural address…with subtitles

Fully annotated. By Donald J. Trump (with Andrew J. Pridgen) Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans and people of the world, thank you. I wanted to say fuck you, but Ivanka suggested I start on a high note. So I’ll save it for farther down. We, the citizens of America are now joined in a...

The Fault In Our Stats

The pollsters got it wrong. Math did not predict the 2016 election. Nate Silver fell from grace. So how do we explain all that? Look no further than the mighty burrito. By Andrew J. Pridgen It did not take long this election season for me to figure out there was a fatal flaw in boy wonder Nate Silver’s once impenetrable...

Pay For Your Own Goddamn Beach House

My tax dollars. Your luxury properties. Written by Kyle Magin If you choose to live in a glass-walled beachfront home with a cutesy name like ‘Sandy Bottoms’ on the Outer Banks or Big Pine Key or any of America’s thousand other coastal retreats for Baby Boomers, you’d think you’d have to assume the risk of climate change-fueled tides ripping that sumbitch...

Wow …look who’s finally woke to Trump ties to Russia

(Hint: It’s the medias) ...But guess who’s not? That’s right the GO to the P. By Andrew J. Pridgen Less than thirty days after we for whatever-the-fuck-reason installed a molding piece of citrus you just found in the back of the crisper while cleaning out the fridge whose human form is a merkin-wigged former reality TV star and unconfirmed billionaire Chinese...

Why House Democrats’ ultimate troll would be to vote in Trumpcare

If it didn’t mean the certain deaths of millions of Americans, this bill would be the perfect piece of rope for the Trump Administration and the GOP to hang itself by for election cycles to come. By Andrew J. Pridgen The GOP, front-row hecklers for the last eight years, have had seven trips around the sun to come up with...

The challenge of raising a child in the age of Trump

...Also known as trying not to be crippled by the futility of simply not knowing what's coming next. By Andrew J. Pridgen This morning my little boy inched to the edge of the three-meter diving board and stared down at his swim teacher treading water below. He looked at me, then glanced back down at the water. He paused, backed up...