Monday, March 27, 2017

Yahoo! your new logo is destroying my fantasy season

Hey Yahoo! quit fucking with your fucking logo. Your new logo(s) (plural) is/are annoying the shit out of me and what's worse, it's fucking up my fantasy team. That's right. Why does Chris Johnson have zero teeders so far this year? Is it because I listened to both Use Your Illusions last night in order (first one than two) because...

Fifty shades of my new iPhone 5s

I'm a man who takes his time with new devises, and today, both the iPhone 5s and I ...arrived. I caress the packaging until I find that incredibly small nub at the end of the shrink-wrapped seam halfway between precious sharp corners of the box. I lick my index finger and thumb as I place my ear upon the box...

Grassroots beginning of NFL pink month boycott

MIKE: sup AJ: sup studio gangsta MIKE: nothing bor MIKE: (bro) AJ: I'm not your bro bro (bor) MIKE: DOn't taze me bro (bor) AJ: Haha MIKE: where u watching games this wknd MIKE: ?! AJ: college or nfl AJ: < MIKE: Coughs… COUGS fuck. AJ: #lulumafia MIKE: Sick. AJ: This is my last wknd watching football for like a month - so I'm going BIG (<-all-caps guy) AJ: Big like that new...

Email to Alex Smith from niner69er

————- Forwarded message ————— From: niner69er Date: September 17, 2013, 11:24:57 PM PDT To: asmith@kcchiefs.com Subject: hey 11! hey, how's it going(?) just wanted to check in ...haven't heard from you in awhile and wanted to know/make sure everything's going ok um, not much new with...

Monday Night Football 9/16/13

In June, Allegheny and Butler Counties reported the lowest unemployment rate in the Pittsburgh, Pa. Metropolitan Statistical Area at 6.9 percent which is almost a percentage point below the national average of 7.8 percent and month-over-month improvement since January. Cincinnati-Middletown, Ohio fared slightly worse in June at 7.1 percent but still more than half a percentage point better than...

Money Mayweather moves Vegas line (twice) by betting against, then for himself prior to title bout

LAS VEGAS — Known for his exploits in the sportsbook as much as he is for his spotless record, Floyd “Money” Mayweather reportedly laid down a staggering $18.8 million bet against himself Thursday for Saturday night's title bout with the similarly undefeated-against-stiffs Canelo Alvarez. Thirty-six-year-old Mayweather's wager moved the line to make the known gambler, who is taking home...

NFL to step up testing for substances players have no interest in taking

NEW YORK Attempting to bolster his tough-guy image as steely sheriff of the nation's most lucrative league, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell clarified his hard-as-nails approach to testing for drugs players aren't really interested in using today. Goodell said today if a player in his league is dumb enough to get caught doing a drug that won't turn him into a raging...

Monday Night Football 9/9/13

Eagles at Redskins Line: Redskins by 4.5 4:30 p.m. PST Eight months ago to the day of Monday Night Football's 2013 debut, Robert Griffin 3.0 bent his right knee 90 degrees the wrong way. Unlike erstwhile Rose Bowl hero/quarterback punk Johnny Utah, Girffin did not run away to join the FBI's domestic crime division, Los Angeles branch; instead, thanks to the...

Oregon coach denies presence of Glory Holes in new state-of-the-art facility

Charlotesville, VA — First-year University of Oregon head coach Mark Helfrich this week danced around the question of whether whether the O-shaped holes installed in the shower and tub rooms are, in fact, glory holes better than his quarterback Marcus Mariota can samba around the pass rush. Hoping to focus on the task at hand, making sure the majority of...

Gentlemen, set your lineups

Re: Gentlemen, Set Your Lineups The above was the subject header of the email I used to send out to my playas (hashtag: ballerstatus) in my fantasy league the day of NFL kickoff. Most of the dudes in the league were handpicked by me to be in it. I based the invite on: 1) How long I've known them. Pretty...

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