Email to Alex Smith from niner69er


————- Forwarded message —————
From: niner69er

Date: September 17, 2013, 11:24:57 PM PDT
Subject: hey 11!


how’s it going(?) just wanted to check in …haven’t heard from you in awhile and wanted to know/make sure everything’s going ok

um, not much new with me here. Same old. Job’s ok. House is good. Did a few things in the yard we talked about last summer …seem to have a little extra time on my hands now, which is good – remember when we used to go around on weekends farmers’ market (jk – we never went to farmers’ mkt!) – but you know, just doing everyday (domestic) stuff… btw, sorry i made fun of you for buying dishes/flatware etc – kind of miss that stuff now. My bed hasn’t been fully made in like three months (you’d go crazy haha) …and there’s only a mark on one side of it (it’s actually like a little brown outline, like a crime scene (gross I know!) now instead of ‘our’ mark in the middle

anyway, hope you’re good and all that. saw that you’re like 2-0 in KC. I think that’s AWESOME (seriously, I knew you’d do great)… I heard KC is a pretty cool town (you know I like BBQ!!) I was actually thinking of coming to visit at some point – maybe this fall if work slows down a bit, but more likely over the holidays etc. I dunno, I think I might be traveling there for work (I’m traveling a lot more now, which is cool) – get to meet a bunch of people, stain some hotel sheets etc. …I wonder how many people buy those no-penetration hotel porn movies now that everyone has an ipad/handheld porn distribution device… I know TMI …anyway…

if i do make it back there, I’ll let you know. I know you’re SUPER busy with your new schedule/new team and you’re still working weekends – sorry I used to rag on you for that.

uh, I know you may not want to be hearing this, but yeah, thinks with Colin are still pretty good. We went up to seattle last weekend as you may have seen, things didn’t go so great. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re still doing AWESOME and I loved being up there with him. The restaurants/the waterfront (thought we didn’t get a chance to watch them catch fish or whatever) …it’s a SUPER fun/super romantic city (there, i said it) – I know you’re not going to make it out there this year, but I know you’re coming out to san diego at some point (your hometown!) so, maybe I’ll try to drive down and see you there too – if that’s ok.

so, yeah – things are good on this front. I mean we were together for eight years. EIGHT YEARS!!! Eight effin years bro …That’s a long-ass time. I mean, when I talk to people about it now, sometimes I have to stop myself from using the present tense. You were just always there. And we had some good good times. And I kind of get sad when I see the anchor man II trailer – even though it’s supposed to be funny and I’ll go see it – colin’s not into the orig anchor man (or will ferrell like you were for that matter) and again, it’s in san diego …I used to LOVE when you told people you grew up in the heart of the ‘whale’s vagina’ like instantly you could tell who ‘got it’ and who didn’t…

I mean, I know I wasn’t always so faithful. I know there was that brief thing I had with JT O’Sullivan in ’08 and you caught me flirting like all the time with Shaun Hill around that time too, but none of that was really serious (I mean, singletary, c’mon!) – it had just been a few years and we were stagnating …I know you were probably looking around too.

anyway, we overcame some adversity bro – I feel like finally in ’11 when you threw for like over 3,000 yards and that playoff game in new orleans 299 yards, three teeders, one rushing td and no interceptions, plus when we went out after and you gave new meaning to the words ‘big’ and ‘easy’ (haha) …I know the past is in the past, but I’ll always remember that weekend …

so, yeah – I know sometimes you think that I just went with colin because he was new/different/his body art (hot! yeah right 🙂 and I got an anonymous/blocked text when he was in GQ like ‘who is this guy?’ (was that you?!) and yeah, I get it – it’s not always about shiny things and eight years is a lot to throw away on a second-round pick and a conditional pick next year and I get that now – I mean I really do…

I guess I just want to say no matter what happens, I miss you… I miss that you wore a Giants hat to a press conference and got fined by the league, I miss your little beard that would come and go with the fading tide, I miss your blue eyes and that time you got a cut on the bridge of your nose and it was bleeding – I still have that picture on my desktop (shhhh – don’t tell colin…)

I probably shouldn’t send this but it’s HOW I FEEL …and when you feel a certain way, it’s just how you feel, you know. So yeah, it’s just a bunch of stuff going through my head at once. Like almost a decade together combined with all those times that I was annoyed at you for not doing enough when really, I think, it’s more about stuff I wasn’t doing that I was projecting on you. Like you were out there WORKING and I was sitting on the couch criticizing or talking sh*t to my friends about what you weren’t doing when really it was me not doing much …so who was I to criticize when you were just trying super-hand.

I guess I’m just saying this to tell you ‘I understand’ – like I understand why you left and even though I think Colin and I (full disclosure: yes, I have his jersey) are going to be exclusive for a long time, I just don’t – I don’t know. I trust him and I love him (there, I said it x2) but you were right, it’s going to be harder to hold onto him and there’s NO WAY I can treat him like I treated you and expect him to come back, year after year.

I know this is a lot and I KNOW it’s super-busy, but it’s how I feel… like HOW I REALLY FEEL about all this stuff and that time is just too much to put into words but this is what I wanted to say. I’ll take it by you not writing back that you read this and that’s enough for me. But if you do write back or want to hang out while I’m in KC (ps – I think you look really good in the Unis, reminds me of your days in Utah, like the pictures you had before we met) then I’m totally down, if you don’t, I’m down too… it’s up to you Alex. I miss you and I think about you (and I’ll tell everyone you said ‘hi’)


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