Why white people taking engagement photos in front of places where white people used to work signals the end of capitalism and life as we know it

10
1095

We unapologetically telegraphed our demise to one another and did it with a smile and a chalkboard.

By Andrew Pridgen

Capitalism is over. The experiment is done. It failed. It not only failed for the masses it was supposed to fail for, but it is now failing for an ever-growing number of the few it was supposed to benefit.

But we can’t say we didn’t see it coming. Or that we didn’t document it.

When it’s all over we’ll be able to dig into the archives and see white people have been unironically advertising the end of everything to one another by taking photos wearing our best polos, flannels, boots and H&M dresses in front of deteriorating landmarks.

These photos may end up on some letterpress postcard STD (<-save the date) to throw on the fridge, but their real purpose is to chronicle how rapidly crumbling are the places where white people used to work*.

We unapologetically telegraphed the end to one another and did it with a smile and a chalkboard.

We’re at the point of no return. We’re fucking up everything so fucking bad that there’s not only not going to be anything left for anyone else—but there’s not going to be anything left for white people (<-our biggest mistake/see second-to-last paragraph).

*Note: people in these photos don’t work. They:

  1. Inherited their money
  2. Are in marketing
  3. Call themselves entrepreneurs which means they know how to Gchat

Also note: The assumptive progeny of these couples will have value of equal to or less than those pictured because there will be that much less to do besides selling their parents’ engagement backdrop as scrap to China.

The backdrops being:

  • Abandoned warehouses where white people used to make stuff

abandonedIIIabandonedIIwarehouseXXIwarehouseXXXI

  • Decaying barns where white people used to store the stuff they harvested

barnIIbarnIIIbarnVI

  • Broken tractors white people used to use to harvest stuff

tractorItractorXIIItractorXXXtractorXXXItractorXXXV

  • Abandoned train tracks (sometimes with a fucking banjo and a couch) where white people used to transport the stuff they harvested

trainIVtrainVIIItrainXItrainXXI

  • A fallow field where white people used to plant and grow stuff

fieldIIfieldIII

  • Vaguely Dystopian landscapes or abandoned grain elevators where white people used to have jobs and one guy with a hard hat still wishes he did

noclueIdystopianIdystopianIIIdystopianIX

  • There’s none of decommissioned server farms, abandoned Redboxes, gutted vape shops or collapsed cubicle walls—but those can’t be far behind.

decayI…About 300 white families (the same who currently fund our elections) are making sure they control everything for everyone—including all the other white people. Which isn’t good. White people used to only oppress others. Now they’ve turned on their own.

And cannibalizing is the sure sign you’ve run yourself out of business.

Put that on your fucking chalkboard.

 

10 COMMENTS

  1. I had skipped lunch and was listening to the Smiths when I wrote this. Let me know if you need further clarification.

  2. I am pleased I don’t have to consider this in any meaningful way. I don’t have to say that it’s wrong on so many levels. It assumes capitalism is over because agricultural or industrial sectors have been replaced by IT, goods and services; assumes trains are running when more white people have been killed on those tracks this year than ever before; and finally the slightly whiney racist stereotyping about “white oppression”. It could only be written by a white middle class bearded guy who’s doing fairly well in a liberal capitalist system, but who ponders about dystopian socialist dreams, where social justice is the order of the day. This could have only been written for the internet. Sigh.

  3. Photographers take pictures in any public place they can. Abondoned building and fields and places like that have a cool urban and or rustic feel that match the decor in their homes and the photographer doesn’t have to get permission or pay extra for these areas if you really must know the truth. Way over thought and really dumb article from a photographer’s perspective. No one has some dumb political agenda. We look for lines, color, light, architecture, and above all free places to take pics. Capitalism at its best!!! Lmao! Dumbass

  4. this has been my favorite thing ive read since the decline of the west by john joe shelvy and fuck morrisy m8 seriously but the piece its brilliant thank you v much

  5. Look, I can’t for the industrial spaces because I don’t do industrial things. But many of the farm spaces, tractors, and railroad tracks pictured are still clearly in use… I know! Your next piece can be about how white people present conspiracy theories as facts, and attempt to support them with proprietary images stolen from the photographer’s websites. Yay!

Comments are closed.