Rogue One Teaser Trailer breakdown: Disney and Lifetime team up for a Star Wars-inspired saga of a single career woman who joins the Rebel Alliance…and stumbles upon love

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So, now it’s only a matter of time before several hundred Felicity Jones and Daisy Ridley action figures find their way out of their boxes and into some…questionable situations in your mother’s basement.  

Here Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen break down the Rogue One teaser and speculate about how many new AT-ATs (worst. Toy. Ever this side of the G.I. Joe USS Flagg Aircraft Carrier) they’re gonna sell:

Star Wars: Rogue One L to R: Actors Riz Ahmed, Diego Luna, Felicity Jones, Jiang Wen and Donnie Yen Photo Credit: Jonathan Olley ©Lucasfilm 2016
Star Wars: Rogue One
L to R: Actors Riz Ahmed, Diego Luna, Felicity Jones, Jiang Wen and Donnie Yen
Photo Credit: Jonathan Olley
©Lucasfilm 2016

Kyle: Did you see the Rogue One teaser?

AJ: Just watched. I dunno. I mean the Disney schedule is like up to seven movies and a theme park by 2020. It’s ridiculous.

forestIKyle: Forest Whitaker, IP Man. Location shooting in Cambodia.

AJ: This is kind of a dream come true/nightmare scenario. Basically, it’s the same as I feel about Burger King hot dogs.

Kyle: Yeah, I’m so worried for the dilution potential. But also excited.

AJ: …Of course the backstory of the rebels who died bringing the (second) Death Star specs to Ackbar’s swivel chair is intriguing.

porkinsIKyle: Agreed.

AJ: But I’d put the Wedge Antilles/Jek Porkins chronicles first. Second would be Solo’s scoundrel days—which they’re doing. Third would be Lando clubbing and gambling his way into owning Bespin’s Palace Tower Suite at Caesar’s in the sky.

landoIKyle: (Solo) sounds most interesting. I want to see somebody lay down the pink to the Falcon in a dice game.

AJ: …Yeah, so that’s all the dream come true part. The nightmare is this is just putting a price tag on your childhood imagination—a default argument, I get. But still, That’s what Disney does best. …Also, Forest Whitaker reprising his Ghost Dog role is intriguing. I’ll give you that.

Kyle: haha.

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