Spoiler Alert: There’s a good chance Jimmy Buffett will creep into your head when you’re trying to cheat death.
Truckee’s Jeremy Jones recently spent 40 minutes jump turning down a spine in the Himalayas. That’s roughly the equivalent of running around and getting knives thrown at you in the dark for an entire episode of House of Cards.
:38 Is my GoPro on?
1:19 I could go for a Treat Box breakfast sando right now.
2:09 I hope they’re filming this.
2:45 I fucking hope they’re not filming this.
3:18 Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel…
3:41 Wasted away again in Margrerrre-ville. Something something something something of salt.
4:19 Why is that song in my head? Sing something else.
4:37 Fuck you Jake Burton.
5:01 Did I tip enough last time at Drunken Monkey?
5:46 What’s the snowboard version of snollerblades?
5:49 Is snowboarding the snowboard version of snollerblades?
6:07 …Yeah, it’s just snowboarding in general.
6:09 Places I’d rather be: Fucking anywhere. Bonus points if it has a hammock.
7:13 Those Corona commercials really get it right. Too bad their beer is awful.
8:19 …Some people say that there’s a woman to blame.
9:15 New Moon Natural Foods is great. I like them. But why’d they name their store after something from the Twilight Series?
9:18 Fuck. What was the name of that video store next to New Moon?
10:17 When’s the last time I made a collect call…hmm.
10:51 I’ll go with ‘98. My default answer for all things I can’t remember clearly will be ‘98 from now on.
11:18 Like nobody’s going to question if I start by saying, ‘Yeah, well back in ‘98…’
11:47 That turn sucked. Only like 100-fucking-million more to go.
12:17 I really wanted the new Star Wars to be better.
14:14 It wasn’t bad. It just…I mean, nothing about it really stayed with me.
14:56 That’d be a nice place for a sauna.
15:11 …But I won’t…It’s nobody’s fault.
16:29 Missy Elliott.
16:30 Why did I suddenly think of Missy Elliott?
17:56 Hey guys in the chopper, if I die right now will one of you delete the part where my last words are Missy Elliott?
18:08 Holy, shit—I just figured it out…
18:44 …My brothers became millionaires by simply daring me to do shit.
19:03 Cheeky bastards. Beers on fucking them.
20:18 Condos man. Fuck condos. All condos. If we get rid of all condos and unpave our roads all the shit will stop melting.
22:11 I gotta write that down. I know I’m going to forget it if I don’t.
22:47 OK, focus.
23:04 Nope. This shit’s too scary, back to unfocusing.
24:01 What’s with the hamburger cake that’s ALWAYS sitting in the display case at Treat Box?
24:08 Did I mention Treat Box breakfast sandwiches?
25:45 All the gapers at Burger Me.
25:55 Um, Missy Elliott—ah-gain. I gotta write her a letter or something when this is done.
26:23 Wait, I get to snowboarded for a living. Does that mean when I retire I should go work in a cubicle.
27:39 Cubicle. Cubicle. Cubicle. Cubicle.
29:13 I wonder if Tarantino has ever snowboarded. Something tells me he could make it annoying.
31:30 I mean, I know yoga works, but does it work that well?
31:48 Geriatric Yoga clothes.
32:27 Yoga clothes…for dogs?
34:31 Fuck man. I’m going on Shark Tank with Doga.
35:56 Doga studio.
36:45 Doga studio—a health spa for dogs.
37:23 You guys getting that: Jones’s Doga Studios.
38:56 …But I won’t …it’s my own fault.
39:21 Fuck, I get it. At the end of the song. It’s his fault. How did I never realize that?