Now that there’s a two-and-a-half-inch square up on the Sixers’ Airbnb for rent, we’ve got a couple suggestions on how it can be used.

By Andrew J. Pridgen

The 76ers announced Monday morning that StubHub will place its logo on the team’s jerseys starting in the 2017-18 season, when the NBA’s three-year pilot program will start.

Sources say the team sold all three seasons at $5 million a year, with the option to extend the contract with StubHub should the league continue to allow the 2½-by-2½-inch patch to be on the jerseys in the future.

“We’re thrilled that the NBA has decided to be an innovator among the major sports leagues in this country,” 76ers CEO Scott O’Neil said about the advertising technique that has been used for almost a century.

I don’t feel like a quasi-legal form of scalping is a great fit for Sixers fans; unless StubHub creates an app for dollar tickets and complimentary 40s in the parking lot.

Below, some more fitting advertising partners for the Sixers:

ABC Bail Bonds: “Because as bad as being a 6’ers fan is, it’s still nothing compared to prison.”

Verizon: “If you’re going to get through this, you’re gonna need to get through it together… with wi-fi.”

The Law Offices of John Della Rocca, DUI Attorney: “Weren’t able to drive the lane either? Call: #267-234-7670.”

HBO: “We don’t care what you say about Vinyl, it’s still better than watching this shit.”

Burning Man: “…At least you could be doing some of the fucking too.”

The Mood Adult Entertainment Store: “Where the phrase ‘Shove it up your ass Philly’ is a good thing.”

Hall & Oates: “At least someone from Philly is in the Hall of Fame.”

Dream Ladies Escort Service: “The Sixers may suck, but for $10 extra we swallow.”

Will Smith: “I feel you Philly. Fortunately, nobody saw Concussion either.”

Will Smith Part II: “Also Philly, remember I’m from here. Michael B. Jordan. Not from here. Just wanted to clarify. Whoooooooooo!”

Guaranteed Plumbing & Heating: “Are you having a problem draining and getting hot too?”

South Philadelphia Locksmith: “Like Philly fans, we don’t ask questions.”

Villanova: “When you’re ready to watch real basketball…we’re here for you Philly.”

Trump: “I’m going to make this team great again! Who ever heard of FREE throws. That’s ridiculous. From now on, I’m going to make a deal with every other team to PAY US each time we go to the line. It’s going to be tremendous.”

City of Philadelphia: “Philly: Where a brownstone still costs under $200k and everyone with more than three tattoos did actual time.”

Geno’s Steaks: “If this team doesn’t give you a heart attack and kill you…we will.”

The Philadelphia Eagles/Phillies: “Because disappointment shouldn’t just be seasonal.”

Bill Simmons’s new HBO show: “I haven’t had an original thought since Iverson either.”

South Philly Towing: “Helping broken-down Sixers fans get a lift since 1984.”

 

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