Or, Why Being a Smarm Peddler Sucks

Written by Kyle Magin

The San Diego Chargers are set to formally announce (to little fanfare) they are leaving America’s Greatest (soon to be greater!) City for Los Angeles.

This news was hysterically broken by ESPN, NOT the San Diego Union-Tribune or San Diego’s AM “The Mighty” 1090.

//pauses to giggle hysterically and spike the football on the corpse of San Diego’s professional football media.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL. (I’m a grown-ass man who doesn’t EVER use LOL, so this is a moment, people.)

After living up the organization’s ass this year, cheerleading its failed efforts to pillage the public coffers for new stadium money in the Measure C debacle, the local sports media got FUCKING PANTSTED on Wednesday night and it’s indeed a decadently rich just dessert.

The U-T and 1090, personified by sniveling U-T columnist/1090 drive-time host Kevin Acee, had to watch ESPN break the biggest football story in San Diego since Junior Seau’s tragic death because they’ve become smarm merchants.

The outlets were attached to Chargers’ owner Dean Spanos’ jiggling underbelly, supplicants who parroted press releases and didn’t bother to go to bat for the taxpaying public when the organization tried to use public funds for its own gain. They coughed up their self-respect and Dean’s in the process, because when somebody in the Chargers organization finally decided to go public with the fact that the team is moving, they went to a legit national organization rather than the dipshit local yokels.

The best part, bar none, of this whole story, is that Acee was in New York specifically to cover the owners’ meeting where this was a main topic of discussion. Now he’s left to write follow stories because he’s such a worthless toadie the guys he golfs Torrey with can’t be bothered to make a fucking phone call to him.

The U-T and 1090 spent all year trying to protect half of their raison d’etre, their jobs covering professional football, only to credit ESPN in the lede of the story that’ll be the talk of the town.

From the Measure C push to Wednesday’s announcement, San Diego’s sports media has failed it in every conceivable way.

They got what they had coming.