Tuesday, June 27, 2017

I wish I knew how to quit you the internet

I mean, I am gonna quit you. And I will miss you when I need to look up at 2:27 a.m. what happened to Peter Ostrum (Charlie Bucket in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) hint: large animal vet ...but I won’t miss much else. By Andrew J. Pridgen I am quitting the internet. I am quitting, but not in the...

Ali

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want. — Muhammad Ali By Kyle Magin Were Muhammad Ali born 50 years earlier than 1942, he’d have been lucky to get a shot at the heavyweight boxing title of the world, and...

Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show may have something …and no, it’s not a STD

Bad reviews, her executive producer's dismissal and documenting the first time Tony Hale and Bill Hader have ever not been funny on camera notwithstanding… Handler is learning episode by episode how to bring the talk show into this century. By Andrew J. Pridgen Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show comes off not as important as it is self-important. Though her directives are...

Ziggy Snider’s no. 1 fan

As Indy 500 prepares for its 100th start Sunday morning, a story about my father and how much he longed to be a part of just one of them. By Andrew J. Pridgen For almost a decade starting in the late-'70s my family lived in Bakersfield. My attorney father was doing oil litigation, and my mother had grown up in...

USFS officials are clearly ignoring the fact that they stumbled upon a mass murder scene at Lake Shasta

The 2016 Slaughterhouse Island massacre is second only to obscene data overages caused by Snapchat as a parent’s worst nightmare. By Andrew J. Pridgen The internets grew a new tail Tuesday from posted pictures of a University of Oregon outdoor school field trip turned deadly orgy of careless bottled water discarding on a spit of land called—ready—fucking Slaughterhouse Island at...

Welcome to The Suck Graduates

It’s graduation season, which means if you’re bedecked in a mortar board and tassel everyone older than you is about to offer advice. Which is fine. It’s exciting to see graduates. Your smiles are indelible. Your gowns pressed so neatly juxtaposed with that look in your eye, like you know something the rest of us don’t. It’s irresistible. By Andrew...

All the things that went through Jeremy Jones’s head during his 20,000-foot first descent

Spoiler Alert: There’s a good chance Jimmy Buffett will creep into your head when you’re trying to cheat death. By Andrew J. Pridgen Truckee’s Jeremy Jones recently spent 40 minutes jump turning down a spine in the Himalayas. That’s roughly the equivalent of running around and getting knives thrown at you in the dark for an entire episode of House...

Squaw’s Bosses Planning to Break Resort Like a Piggy Bank, Collect the Cash and Run

Why Squaw is fucked. (Click here to see how to un-fuck it.) By Andrew J. Pridgen Before we jump feet first into the water theme park and the specifics of the Squaw redevelopment plan which they all but burnt the edges of to make it look like an old treasure map like you did for a 5th grade project, let’s get...

Locals and Conservationists May Have to Make a Deal with the Devil to Save Squaw

How to un-fuck Squaw Valley. (Click here to see why it's fucked.) By Andrew J. Pridgen Squaw CEO Andy Wirth has become something of a sympathetic creature of late in that he has to continue to carry a party line that is completely out of step with the community, with the environment and with industry trends. Wirth’s employer is currently stopping just...

Playboy goes down swinging

No more Playmates? Thanks Brazzers. Makers of the magazine that defined three generations of men’s people's lives, especially when found discarded in a field behind your school, announced its second redesign in three years will do away with the naked centerfolds. Oh well. While this change may be the truest reflection of Hefner’s vision in a half-century, it is...

Recent Articles

The diminished allure of the Los Angeles Lakers is all of...

Once a symbol of manifest destiny, West Coast dreams coming true and a time and a place more hopeful and civilized, now the Lakers...

Giants fans ought to find comfort in the strength of the...

It’s a shame that one of the power trio in the NL West (Dodgers, Rockies, D-Backs) will be one-game-and-done in the postseason. All have...

Rearranging the deckchairs aboard ESPN

The Network is sinking and parent company Disney is hoping to tap a ‘90s business model—and audience—to fix it. By Andrew J. Pridgen ESPN, the...

California Baseball Weekly: Insult to Injury in San Francisco

Every week during the 2017 season, we’ll check in with California’s five MLB teams. Who’s up? Who’s down? Who has the cheapest ticket this...

How Jerry West was driven out of Golden State by owner...

..The Logo, The Kingmaker just couldn’t stand the VC owner anymore. Why his “my work is done here” explanation for leaving is only half...