Saturday, February 17, 2018

The Oregon Ducks will go 5-7 this season. Here’s how (and why)

Hint: It’s not just Mark Helfrich. Well, it’s mostly Helfrich...but not all Helfrich. By Andrew J. Pridgen Every civilization has its rise, apex, then demise. Unfortunately, for reasons he can’t 100-percent control or articulate, Oregon football coach Mark Helfrich will be the man fingered for destroying the Ducks’ unprecedented two-decade run to big-time college football prominence, and—perhaps more importantly for...

The Big 12 is STILL so stupid

Do you have a pulse, a checkbook, and college aspirations? Kansas wants you! Written By Kyle Magin We’re in the second year of our annual probably-not-totally accurate academic ranking of the power five college football conferences by acceptance rates: the percentage of high school applicants each university admits. Click here to see how schools ranked last year. I’m sensing a broken-record scenario here,...

Things a first-round pick should never say just after being selected to join the NFL

April 28, 2016 at 5 p.m. PST the NFL Network will broadcast its annual National Legalized Slave Auction Day. If you’re one of the lucky ones to get jumped into the league, here’s a primer of some thoughts you might just want to keep under that flat-billed hat at your first presser. By Andrew J. Pridgen The difference between playing college...

Are Oregon’s glow-in-the dark uniforms a show of narcissism or simply a cry for help?

A selfie of a Tron-inspired kit sparks debate online about the mental well-being of Oregon football uniforms. Psychologists analyze the fallout from the attention-grab. By Andrew Pridgen Seeking consumer and fan validation through colorful and interchangeable variants has been a hallmark of Oregon’s football uniforms for the majority of this century. Psychologists today warn the Oregon uniform’s increased need for validation combined...

Pints and Picks Week 1: College Football Kickoff 2016 has already gone to the dogs

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and (sometimes) what to drink while doing it. This week: #CFBkickoff: By Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen AJ, We’re here again, on the precipice of another college football season. Before we proceed to ND-Texas, Oklahoma-Houston or SC-Bama,...

It’s 2 a.m. and Oregon Football is alone at the end of the bar

Oregon Football hasn’t yet fallen far enough to need a comeback. But the signs are there this evening has come to an end. By Andrew Pridgen Oregon Football is holding a foam-lined pint glass in one hand and its iPhone 5c in the other hovering over the far corner of New Max’s bar. He’s framed by a trio of groomed...

Cal hasn’t won the Big Game since the invention of Google Glass…will Saturday change that?

Stanford is 12-point (ok fine, 12.5) favorites on The Farm Saturday, but Cal has its best opportunity to take the Axe back to Berkeley this decade. Will they? By Andrew Pridgen The once 5-0 Bears are now 6-4 and losers of 4 of their last 5 hoping for that Vegas Bowl bid/late December matchup with Boise State. Stanford at 8-1 was...

Pints and Picks Week 4: All the Big Sky and MACtion you’ve been waiting for without ever realizing it

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and (sometimes) what to drink while doing it. This week: #smallconferencesbigresults By Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen AJ, Do you remember the first time you saw a true running quarterback tuck it and go? I wasn’t old...

Revised: Baylor acceptance letter to potential female students

5/19/2016 1301 S. University Parks Drive Waco, TX 76798 Dear Brooke, We are writing to inform you, that after careful consideration of your credentials and the environment here at Baylor University, you are accepted to enroll in the Fall semester of 2016 and can expect to be raped sometime in the next four to five years. Go Bears! Your exemplary high school academic records--eight...

Oregon Football Isn’t Just Bad, It’s Boring

...But that’s not even the worst part. By Andrew J. Pridgen By the second half of Saturday’s Oregon/USC game, I was on to other things. This isn’t easy for me to admit, nor is it something I am particularly proud of. Ever since I’ve been writing about Ducks Football in this space, one of my constant harangues has been decrying the thin-skinnedness...