Sunday, January 20, 2019

49ers’ Tomsula firing press release reads more like the head coach was killed by a movie villain

Just as things couldn't get worse in Santa Clara, it appears Hans Gruber has taken over the press office. By Andrew Pridgen From making bad draft picks, to misbegotten moves out of San Francisco to coaching decisions gone askance—the 49ers' ownership and front office can’t seem to do anything right. Add writing coach-firing press releases to that list. The announcement that the...

Saying Goodbye to Golfer Guy

Not only are Golfer Guy’s actions and attitude horrible for the environment but the asshole culture that has evolved as his numbers continue to dwindle is vexing. By Andrew Pridgen For a time, my father was a Golfer Guy but never really knew it. Most Golfer Guys don’t. The tidewaters turned up a number of things in the immediate recession that was...

Potential Jersey Advertising Matches for the Philadelphia 76ers

Now that there's a two-and-a-half-inch square up on the Sixers' Airbnb for rent, we've got a couple suggestions on how it can be used. By Andrew J. Pridgen The 76ers announced Monday morning that StubHub will place its logo on the team's jerseys starting in the 2017-18 season, when the NBA's three-year pilot program will start. Sources say the team sold all...

Unlike most of the rest of the world London is a bad fit for baseball

London didn’t want baseball at its 2012 Olympic Games. According to reports, it wants it now and MLB is exploring ways to schedule a series or multiple series in the city by 2017. Written by Kyle Magin In 2005, London, through then-International Olympic Committee President/mouthpiece of aging Western European/English sports fans Jacques Rogge told baseball and its sister, softball, to fuck...

The problem is Trump’s ‘jokes’ just aren’t funny …and could end up being deadly

Line crossed (again.) By Andrew J. Pridgen If there’s one joke we’ve all (yes, everyone) had enough of, it’s the GOP nominee. He is not a presidential candidate as much as he is a merkin-on-the-head-wearing suicide bomb vest sent here from the future to destroy the reputations of anyone who’s ever drained their trust funds and only has very clear late-stage symptoms...

Why the f*ck are you still a 49ers fan?

I try and I try and I try...but I can’t seem to understand the point of rooting for the present-day 49ers unless you have that disease Drew Barrymore had in 50 First Dates where you maybe got knocked out sometime in the early ‘90s and every day you wake up thinking the team is great while at the same...

How the Nike have fallen

From the swoosh’s apex with Michael Johnson at the Atlanta games to being a mere footnote at the Rio Olympics, how Nike’s being a part of the status quo has failed to compel the next generation of consumer. By Andrew J. Pridgen During the mid-’90s I thought I had found a home at the University of Oregon’s Journalism School. It...

The craps table is full of assholes: This and other musings from 28 minutes at a casino on New Year’s Eve

These scenes are a reminder of how adept we’ve become at pretending the glue-gunned feathers holding together our economic and moral fabric are going to hold. By Andrew J. Pridgen I come from gambling stock. My great-grandfather on my mother’s side was a degenerate Scandinavian card player who died in a trailer outside Vegas back when Vegas was more holes in...

A Trump presidency: The first 100 days

How bad could it be? By Andrew J. Pridgen Day 3: Follow-up son Eric ODs on “a bunch of blow and other stuff” according to the White House press corps. while watching all five seasons of Ally McBeal in reverse order to see the plot unfold as it was intended (the subtext is Calista Flockhart is a kind of female Dorian...

Why white people taking engagement photos in front of places where white people used to work signals the end of capitalism and life as we know it

We unapologetically telegraphed our demise to one another and did it with a smile and a chalkboard. By Andrew Pridgen Capitalism is over. The experiment is done. It failed. It not only failed for the masses it was supposed to fail for, but it is now failing for an ever-growing number of the few it was supposed to benefit. But we...