Thursday, April 26, 2018

Slouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Lady

About halfway through Monday’s presidential debate, I expected to see Hillary dancing off rooftop tiles and vaulting from the tops of trees. That didn’t happen, though she did get Donald to say: “I have a son. He's 10 years old. He has computers. He is so good with these computers, it's unbelievable. The security aspect of cyber is very,...

This is not the El Niño you are looking for

Sorry bro, that Super El Niño you’re waiting on is just a symptom of you fucking up the planet/turning the ocean into a hot tub. Signed, every dying fish everywhere. By Andrew J. Pridgen Guess fucking what? The oceans are getting warmer ALL THE FUCK OVER. And guess who did that? We did. (<--I blame myself actually. I blame myself for driving a SUV...

Things are getting so bad I’ve started listening to R.E.M. again

...And I’m not sure how I feel about it. By Andrew J. Pridgen It’s not that I ever stopped liking R.E.M. it’s just that I grew up and away from them. There was more out there to discover. R.E.M. was a gateway drug like shake weed, Natural Ice or glossy print porn before the world was full of disgusting Eastern...

Why it’s OK for Oregon fans to root for Washington Saturday

...This season is lost. The Ducks need to rebuild. And U-Dub is the lone team from this timezone to have a shot at the playoff... But those aren’t the only reasons for loyal Ducks to don some Dawg Pound gear this weekend. By Andrew J. Pridgen Forget, for a minute, about the last two decades. Forget about The Pick. Never happened. The...

Locals and Conservationists May Have to Make a Deal with the Devil to Save Squaw

How to un-fuck Squaw Valley. (Click here to see why it's fucked.) By Andrew J. Pridgen Squaw CEO Andy Wirth has become something of a sympathetic creature of late in that he has to continue to carry a party line that is completely out of step with the community, with the environment and with industry trends. Wirth’s employer is currently stopping just...

Vail’ed threat to Whistler, ski biz, becomes reality

Something wicked this way comes to the great north. By Andrew J. Pridgen Vail’s purchase of Whistler Blackcomb Holdings Inc. Monday was greeted with some typical “evil empire” knee-jerk, which is to be expected, and in all ways, correct. Colorado-based Vail Resorts Inc. now has the equivalent of Park Place and Boardwalk with its acquisition of North America’s biggest ski...

The Evil has Landed

Why is America being flown by the asshole on the plane? By Andrew J. Pridgen It happened. It happened like how you woke up this morning. You don’t know how you did but you did. We elected, freely elected, the candidate endorsed by the KKK, white supremacists and those who occupy the highest offices in the Kremlin. Congratulations, we are...

That’s So Bo

Like Homer abandoning Springfield in the Simpsons Movie, Bo Ryan is exiting college basketball with both middle fingers up in a less-than-heroic retreat. Written by Kyle Magin Bo Ryan has the most perfectly complementary personality/face combination in the history of college basketball, a sport Adolph Rupp’s tom turkey visage gobbled its way angrily through for decades. The former University of Wisconsin...

Want to know why sh*t’s so messed up? Look no further than the state of local journalism.

Because nobody should pay for content, and the people who generate it should work for free, right? By Andrew J. Pridgen One week ago, reporters and editors in the combined newsroom of DNAinfo and Gothamist, a pair of New York’s biggest digital-only local news orgs, popped $5 champagne from the CVS in victory—they had just voted to join a union. On Thursday,...

49ers’ Tomsula firing press release reads more like the head coach was killed by a movie villain

Just as things couldn't get worse in Santa Clara, it appears Hans Gruber has taken over the press office. By Andrew Pridgen From making bad draft picks, to misbegotten moves out of San Francisco to coaching decisions gone askance—the 49ers' ownership and front office can’t seem to do anything right. Add writing coach-firing press releases to that list. The announcement that the...