Saturday, September 23, 2017

The Elephant Bar is where dreams went to die were they to have known they were dreams in the first place

RIP Elephant Bar. We will miss that dry heave-inducing Kona Kooler and Chicken Lettuce Wraps combo over a post-work drink lament on a Tuesday. By Andrew J. Pridgen I was fortunate enough to call Concord my work home for three years early in my career. As a community reporter for the Contra Costa Times, my beats were Martinez, Walnut Creek...

Gene Wilder wasn’t funny which is what made him hilarious

Gene Wilder died on Sunday night at his home in Stamford, Conn. He was 83. By Andrew J. Pridgen Funny never dies. That’s the first thing that came to my mind when I heard of Gene Wilder’s death on Monday. Some things are eternal and as long as there’s memes and late-night cable, there will always be room in this world for...

Republican Convention: Actual overheards from the RNC floor

...As transcribed from actual sentence fragments. By Andrew J. Pridgen “Everyone gather on the floor at approximately 6:45 p.m. we’re going to stage the largest type 2 diabetes flash mob in history!” “When Larry the Cable Guy is Secretary of State there’s NO WAY another Benghazi is going to happen...especially with that giant slingshot of his.” “Not sure what’s next on the agenda...but...

I wish I knew how to quit you the internet

I mean, I am gonna quit you. And I will miss you when I need to look up at 2:27 a.m. what happened to Peter Ostrum (Charlie Bucket in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) hint: large animal vet ...but I won’t miss much else. By Andrew J. Pridgen I am quitting the internet. I am quitting, but not in the...

Ali

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want. — Muhammad Ali By Kyle Magin Were Muhammad Ali born 50 years earlier than 1942, he’d have been lucky to get a shot at the heavyweight boxing title of the world, and...

Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show may have something …and no, it’s not a STD

Bad reviews, her executive producer's dismissal and documenting the first time Tony Hale and Bill Hader have ever not been funny on camera notwithstanding… Handler is learning episode by episode how to bring the talk show into this century. By Andrew J. Pridgen Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show comes off not as important as it is self-important. Though her directives are...

Welcome to The Suck Graduates

It’s graduation season, which means if you’re bedecked in a mortar board and tassel everyone older than you is about to offer advice. Which is fine. It’s exciting to see graduates. Your smiles are indelible. Your gowns pressed so neatly juxtaposed with that look in your eye, like you know something the rest of us don’t. It’s irresistible. By Andrew...

Squaw’s Bosses Planning to Break Resort Like a Piggy Bank, Collect the Cash and Run

Why Squaw is fucked. (Click here to see how to un-fuck it.) By Andrew J. Pridgen Before we jump feet first into the water theme park and the specifics of the Squaw redevelopment plan which they all but burnt the edges of to make it look like an old treasure map like you did for a 5th grade project, let’s get...

Locals and Conservationists May Have to Make a Deal with the Devil to Save Squaw

How to un-fuck Squaw Valley. (Click here to see why it's fucked.) By Andrew J. Pridgen Squaw CEO Andy Wirth has become something of a sympathetic creature of late in that he has to continue to carry a party line that is completely out of step with the community, with the environment and with industry trends. Wirth’s employer is currently stopping just...

Playboy goes down swinging

No more Playmates? Thanks Brazzers. Makers of the magazine that defined three generations of men’s people's lives, especially when found discarded in a field behind your school, announced its second redesign in three years will do away with the naked centerfolds. Oh well. While this change may be the truest reflection of Hefner’s vision in a half-century, it is...

Recent Articles

Rage On!

Jake LaMotta is dead at age 95. Of the best, he was the last standing. By Andrew J. Pridgen Several times over the course of this...

Pints and Picks Week 4: I could still pick winners, and...

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager...

As a Giants fan, this season was, by far, the most...

...Without a doubt. By Andrew J. Pridgen It sounds silly to say that my favorite San Francisco Giants season dating back double-digits is the one where...

California Baseball Weekly: This Is It

Every week during the 2017 season, we’ll check in with California’s five MLB teams. Who’s up? Who’s down? Who has the cheapest ticket this...

Pints and Picks Week 3: It certainly doesn’t get any better...

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager...