Sunday, January 20, 2019

America the Miserable

Believe it or not, you make the choice to be unhappy, every day. By Andrew J. Pridgen Are you an unhappy person? Are you? That’s not an accusation, that’s a question. Think about it for a minute. Think about your day yesterday. Did you wake up feeling OK about stuff? Did you clear the sleep out of your eyes, heave a big...

Why outrage over the Alabama Alpha Phi recruitment video sends mixed signals

-OR- When spamming, flaming trolls crucify you on message boards and your mother calls worried and your ex starts telling really bad and untrue stories about you on Facebook and your whole world collapses just because you thought you were doing what you were supposed to do. By Andrew Pridgen Here are some of the expectations we have of young...

How the fuck is school starting already?

Ed’s note: Usually we try to keep the venting amongst the staff, but summer is pissed. By Summer (as told to Andrew Pridgen) Hi, Summer here. What up yo? What the fuck fuckfaces. You remember me? How bout some reminders: Smell of fresh lawn cuttings, some vague memory of tire swings, lemonade stands, baseball games, burnt hot dogs, slow-motion running through the sprinklers,...

An Open Letter to Will Gordon Regarding Bell’s Oberon

Dear Will Gordon, I’m not here to skewer you for calling one of the best wheat beers I’ve ever enjoyed “overrated.” You taste more beer in a month than I do in a year and may have something of a point on quality. I am here to tell you your understanding of the love Michiganders, Midwesterners and people in the...

Why Spieth will finish green-jacket strong Sunday

I don’t watch sports. I don’t bet on sports and I don’t fill out brackets. Just never been one of those guys. But I do watch golf. And this weekend is it. By Justin Broglio If I was a betting man…I'd tell you this much—Jordan Spieth will hold on today. Not because he’s young and not because he can see the...

This is how The New York Times sees California

The New York Times loves to hate on California. It’s like the urge to do donuts while eating donuts in a rental car. Some things are hard-coded. And they’re really good at it too. NYT’s staff and stable of freelancers can pour California cliché like a mini-bar bottle of Bacardi Limon into a Tumeric smoothie made with raw honey,...

“Excerpt from a text convo lamenting how boring ski porn has gotten” A story for aging bros who came of age in mountain towns during the early 2000s

As told by every sad bro ever since the trailer for Fade to Winter dropped Wednesday. By Andrew Pridgen “Sup bro?” texted James. He was sitting in traffic and pretending not to text which made it look even more like he was texting. Pause. (An ellipsis denoting Mike texting back made James smile.) “Sup,” Mike texted. James and Mike have been bros for a decade,...

God Bless you Uncle Bill

Goodbye to William Stiveson: devoted father, grandfather, educator, Catholic and...devout football fan. By Andrew Pridgen It was late-August of 1992. “Uncle” Bill Stiveson was my high school’s vice principal. I was the incoming student body president. Early one morning, a few weeks before the start of school, I was down at his office working on something for the first assembly...

As if the San Francisco Giants needed more dickhead fans this happens

Sometimes, I think parking lots get re-branded as places to go show off your fixie and man-culottes during baseball games just to piss me off. By Andrew Pridgen After the final out of the last Giants game at Candlestick (a 9-4 loss to the Dodgers), home plate was ceremoniously dug out and medevac’d to a pile of landfill in China Basin....

Why the Wold Series makes me a little sad

I get a little sad this time of year. It's fall and baseball will be over within a week's time. And it's not that I'm hankering for more, quite the opposite really—162 games plus a wild card, plus a division series, plus a championship series ...and then a World Series is plenty, thank you. The first pitch I watched...