Tuesday, July 25, 2017

“Excerpt from a text convo lamenting how boring ski porn has gotten” A story for aging bros who came of age in mountain towns during the early 2000s

As told by every sad bro ever since the trailer for Fade to Winter dropped Wednesday. By Andrew Pridgen “Sup bro?” texted James. He was sitting in traffic and pretending not to text which made it look even more like he was texting. Pause. (An ellipsis denoting Mike texting back made James smile.) “Sup,” Mike texted. James and Mike have been bros for a decade,...

A Trump presidency: The first 100 days

How bad could it be? By Andrew J. Pridgen Day 3: Follow-up son Eric ODs on “a bunch of blow and other stuff” according to the White House press corps. while watching all five seasons of Ally McBeal in reverse order to see the plot unfold as it was intended (the subtext is Calista Flockhart is a kind of female Dorian...

What your couples costume says about the state of your relationship

How doomed is your relationship? Below, what your Halloween couples costume says about your short- and long-term status. By Andrew J. Pridgen Let’s face it, the trying-too-hard couples costume is the beginning of the end. It's about the same as when the duo in question says they’re going to therapy to see what it’s all about or are trying new...

Republican Convention: Actual overheards from the RNC floor

...As transcribed from actual sentence fragments. By Andrew J. Pridgen “Everyone gather on the floor at approximately 6:45 p.m. we’re going to stage the largest type 2 diabetes flash mob in history!” “When Larry the Cable Guy is Secretary of State there’s NO WAY another Benghazi is going to happen...especially with that giant slingshot of his.” “Not sure what’s next on the agenda...but...

It is time to not be nice

The white guy date rapist elite are now in charge and the country is being told to be quiet and roll over and take it...it’ll all be over soon. Nope. By Andrew J. Pridgen A couple days after the election and it is finally sinking in. The hangover is starting to feel like a permanent condition, something that may require...

Dear Unfriended Friend,

It is not policy or politics or ideals that separate us anymore. It is basic human decency. By Andrew J. Pridgen Dear Friend, I saw something funny the other day that reminded me of you and I wanted to post it on your Facebook wall when I realized you no longer had a check mark next to the ‘friend’ box underneath...

The things we learn from the people who are gone

On May 29, 2011 in the Wardak province of Afghanistan, CPT Joseph W. Schultz’s humvee led a convoy in the central eastern part of the country. A roadside bomb detonated when his vehicle was in range and Joe, along with Staff Sergeant Martin Apolinar and Sergeant Aaron Blasjo, died instantly. By Andrew J. Pridgen Joe Schultz left this earth not by...

Why all California representatives should boycott the inauguration…and get to work

The U.S. and the rest of the world is looking to the Golden State to stand up to power. That starts Friday Jan. 20. By Andrew J. Pridgen The 2016 presidential election was not a legitimate one. The eventual winner ran on claims that it was rigged against him for the final two months of his campaign. He knew then, as...

Honeymoon from Hell

We went ahead and took the plunge with our abuser and now we must be prepared to be tied up and beaten (and not in a good way) from day 1. By Andrew J. Pridgen This get-to-know America’s newest spouse grace period officially ended as soon as the door shut behind him. The first days of his presidency have...

To a pair of Veterans

Surviving World War II was merely the beginning for Phyllis and James Moquist. By Andrew Pridgen I wasn’t invited to sit in on the very end of life stuff for my grandfather on my mother’s side. But over a Thanksgiving weekend in 2000 I saw the end of the man I’d known. By then, I was in my mid-20s and had...

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Do the Giants and Pablo Sandoval have an incurable case of...

In short, science says no. ...But that's far from the end of the explanation. By Andrew J. Pridgen Behavioral psychologist Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. recently wrote about...

Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather Jr. are getting paid handsomely to...

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As Oakland parts out its team once more, Billy Beane’s legacy...

Oakland is in the midst of its second purge in three seasons. The difference this time is EVP of baseball operations Billy Beane hints...

California Baseball Weekly: Seller Dwellers

Every week during the 2017 season, we’ll check in with California’s five MLB teams. Who’s up? Who’s down? Who has the cheapest ticket this...

Bettors be advised to take the Dodgers at 3-1 to win...

It’s as close to a sure thing as anything this side of the Russians interfering. By Andrew J. Pridgen There are no secrets left in...