Sunday, January 20, 2019

Mashable welcomes Millennials to writing careers by laying off editorial via Slack

Delete. Delete. Delete. By Andrew J. Pridgen Well, it happened. On Thursday, Mashable, the place you go to find out whether your dog is popular or to hear abortion stories, laid off all the editorialings in the immediate wake of Turner’s $15 million investment in the Buzzfeed-inspired media stream geared toward the generation that constructs sentences out of cartoon thumbnails. Layoffs suck....

Stuart Scott won the fight long ago…and then went another round

Before it was brutalized by Disney and politically corrected by dozens of precious, pasty Yale glee club retreads behind the desk trying to sound chirpy and a little bit gangsta as their dress socks sag, ESPN was Stuart Scott. Stuart Scott, an Admiral Ackbar-looking walleyed dude from around the way or maybe North Carolina, wore a $3,000 suit instead of...

Fifty shades of my new iPhone 5s

I'm a man who takes his time with new devises, and today, both the iPhone 5s and I ...arrived. I caress the packaging until I find that incredibly small nub at the end of the shrink-wrapped seam halfway between precious sharp corners of the box. I lick my index finger and thumb as I place my ear upon the box...

Welcome to an evening of campus-sponsored fascism at Cal Poly

Cal Poly is hosting a narcissistic, demagogue hate-speech monger in Axe hair gel, and the university’s president is acting like there’s nothing he can do about it saying he’s “defending free speech.” No. No, he is not. He is sponsoring intolerance and spreading propaganda. #ResignArmstrong By Andrew J. Pridgen Satan’s sophomoric personal dubstep DJ MILO is set to speak at Cal...

Turns out the Eagles didn’t totally suck

I used to believe Glenn Frey was pop music’s Antichrist...until it dawned on me, he might have been the Eagles’ (and my) savior. By Andrew J. Pridgen I grew up fucking hating the Eagles. It was for a lot of reasons and really none of them were about the band or its songs. To me the Eagles were the worst (see: most...

Why KG needs Minnesota

KG settles back into life in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, perhaps this time for good. Why this homecoming is the best move he ever made. By Andrew Pridgen Kevin Garnett was a 6-foot-11, 210-pound 18-year-old from the deepest, poorest dead-end gravel road nothing of Greenville, South Carolina—raised in the toe-tagged hood known as Nickeltown—one guess what the white side of...

The 7 best things about the new Star Wars teaser trailer

When the last of the prequels-that-shall-not-be-named wrapped, I started an email campaign to initiate a Star Wars episodes I-III genocide. Without trying to get too evocative of the darkest period in human history, I envisioned giant bonfires of Costco-bought DVDs, legions of young fans cutting off their Padawan braids and donating them to Locks of Love ...and never having...

Court’s adjourned: Now it’s time to put Bonds and Clemens in the Hall

Hemingway had booze, Ron Jeremy had Viagra and fat Elvis had...food. So why, even after the highest court in the land has cleared the names of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, will Hall of Fame voters refuse to acknowledge the greats of the live-ball era based on suspicion of using performance enhancers? By Andrew Pridgen A federal appeals court Wednesday overturned...

Slouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Lady

About halfway through Monday’s presidential debate, I expected to see Hillary dancing off rooftop tiles and vaulting from the tops of trees. That didn’t happen, though she did get Donald to say: “I have a son. He's 10 years old. He has computers. He is so good with these computers, it's unbelievable. The security aspect of cyber is very,...

An Open Letter to Will Gordon Regarding Bell’s Oberon

Dear Will Gordon, I’m not here to skewer you for calling one of the best wheat beers I’ve ever enjoyed “overrated.” You taste more beer in a month than I do in a year and may have something of a point on quality. I am here to tell you your understanding of the love Michiganders, Midwesterners and people in the...