Friday, March 24, 2017

The SEO Shakedown: Or, how to agitate for personal profit and bring an annoying end to creativity

Google has created its own world-wide hurricane-force storm of ephemeral information, the scattering of all letters and characters tossed into a Pacific Garbage Patch-sized mire of wordsludge and it built itself as the only lighthouse in the content shitstorm. SEO is the guide to becoming one of the beams of light glowing from a tower of boring math to...

5 cable alternatives that have sunk SportsCenter into a ratings coma

Like CNN's Headline News, ESPN's SportsCenter has been relegated to the cable network show of choice for the business traveler. By Andrew Pridgen Viewing a snippet of SportsCenter is acceptable only in one of the following three scenarios: 1) You're stuck in a domestic terminal when your phone is at 10 percent battery and already on airport mode. There's an hour delay...

World Series – Games 3-5 – Ending on a techicality brings high ratings; Ortiz batting .733 and playing a position should bring end to DH

The best argument ever for the abolition of the designated hitter is a 37-year-old nightclub owner from the Dominican Republic with 431 career home runs, most of them as a DH. By Andrew J. Pridgen ...But more on that in a minute. First, the ratings: Game three, the first World Series game to end on an obstruction call, (which is basically the equivalent...

49ers’ Aldon Smith admits he has a problem…getting caught

The Forty Niners released Aldon Smith Friday after the All-Pro linebacker was arrested on suspicion of his 3rd DUI Thursday night. Smith was booked into Santa Clara County Jail on suspicion of hit-and-run, driving under the influence and vandalism, police said Friday. Forty Niners CEO Jed York said third-year All-Pro outside linebacker Aldon Smith will seek treatment and will not...

40 Days of ‘Gayting’

Warner Brothers this week acquired the screen (and 'life' — no joke) rights to 40 Days of Dating, a he-said/she-said blog (well-designed internets-hipster publicity grab ...that, like, worked) by a pair of Manhattan-based graphic designers who documented 40 grueling days in a row of forcing the other to hang out. By Andrew Pridgen Each day was documented by blog subjects Jessica Walsh,...

Fifty shades of my new iPhone 5s

I'm a man who takes his time with new devises, and today, both the iPhone 5s and I ...arrived. I caress the packaging until I find that incredibly small nub at the end of the shrink-wrapped seam halfway between precious sharp corners of the box. I lick my index finger and thumb as I place my ear upon the box...

Why does the America’s Cup fucking suck so bad?

What's up America's Cup? By Andrew Pridgen That's an actual question, not the rhetorical kind. It's like what the fuck is up with you? For starters, and I'm not even gonna mess around, like could you take the word America off your title? I checked with Obama and he's like "unless they can come up with a more American sport than sailing...

Recent Articles

Why House Democrats’ ultimate troll would be to vote in Trumpcare

If it didn’t mean the certain deaths of millions of Americans, this bill would be the perfect piece of rope for the Trump Administration...

Trump’s Colin Kaepernick comments on the same day he officially became...

Welcome to your fucked republic. By Andrew J. Pridgen Donald Trump apparently doesn’t like quarterbacks who exercise their First Amendment rights. No, wait, scratch that....

Quitting Google

The world’s biggest advertising and media companies are waking up to the fact that despite all the available analytics Google is opaque about why...

St. Patrick’s Day in America: A spectacle of white entitlement and...

Seriously, you’re doing this again? By Andrew J. Pridgen I wonder about people who still celebrate St. Patrick’s day in America. Like who the fuck are...

Pints and Picks March Madness Special Edition: Vegas from the Ground...

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager...